The Wonderful Musician
by chaann
Summary: AU - Based on the fairytale 'The Wonderful Musician'. Warnings: Yaoi, suggestive themes, death, bratty deidara and a hunky sasori. Deidara is a lonely wandering musician but attracts the company he doesn't want. After tricking and trapping them, the musician finds good company with a woodsman on the mountain. He is soon warned though that the fools in the land go out for revenge...


Humm dee dum. I'm not sure how OOC I went out cause in a wayyyy they're kiiinda still in character...?

sasori has an accent. Think Russian or even Ukranian. Whatever, it's manly. Deidara isn't manly, he's just a jackass.

Hhahahahahaha oh right, pardon my bad endinG

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A young man by the name of Deidara grabbed his hair and tied it up - well not all of it - just half of it. A pony tail on top of his head. To him it didn't look stupid so that's all that matters...

This young man was a musician, he played the fiddle and his music was true fleeting art. It goes in one ear and out the other and never lasts too long, which was the biggest shame as no one ever wanted it to end. Deidara saw it as if it did last too long, people would become bored of it and it would no longer be special.

One day while walking through the woods he noticed his adventures left him feeling lonely.

"Boy these adventures leave me lonely, yeah."

Not even his music could keep him company.

"Not even my music can keep me company, yeah."

Walking further and further into the woods he heard a woman singing to his music and watched as the woman approached him.

The womans eyes fluttered in admiration and Deidara's rolled agony. This was not the company he wanted. The girl wasn't even a good singer, she sounded like a pig! He would rather have the company of one! However, being the somewhat polite man he was, Deidara didn't tell the woman off.

What Deidara didn't expect was that this woman would attract a friend just as equally annoying.

"Ino! Who are you with? An instrument? Oh My goodness he's so handsome!"

Deidara stopped playing his fiddle as the new pink haired girl approached. She as well was not the kind of company he wanted to be with. In the short amount of time of her being her and watching the way she treated her friend was scary, "Yikes! I would rather be with a wolf, yeah." He grumbled to his chest.

Both girls started following Deidara, swooning over every note he played. He could play gibberish or the wrong note and they would still see him as a musical genius! They didn't know true art at all!

The three of them kept walking until they came across a stream where a girl was doing exercise. The girl hopped up from her squats and ran up to the trio, "So you're where that lovely music was coming from! My name is Tenten, can I walk with you?"

The two other girls snarled and Deidara just shrugged, honestly he'd rather hang out with a rabbit than this girl. In fact, he'd rather be all alone! He sighed and picked up his fiddle and continued to play as all the girls took turns singing lines to their made up song. None of them were good, this was excruciating, and no matter where he went, they followed. Even when he suggested they go home - here they were.

Suddenly as the sun went a thought came into Deidara's head. The girls weren't stupid, they would notice him leave without a doubt, but surely they were stupid enough to fall for a simple trap.

Deidara put his fiddle down with his bag to show the girls he would be right back and started wandering off, "Girls! Wait here, I just have to gotta go to the toilet, yeah!"

And with that the blond quickly set out with a net, rope and a small tool under his shirt to make a snare. He tied ropes to the trees and placed a net on the ground before covering it with light dirt, grass and leaves.

He quickly finished and ran back to the girls, keeping his promise he would be back and proposed a dance.

"C'mon girls, lets dance to one of my original songs! I'm sure that none of you have ever heard anything like it, it's true art from a wonderful musician!"

Deidara started playing and began bouncing off into the direction of the snare while the girls foolishly followed.

The girls started to dance in the clearing on top of the net, holding each others hands as they twirled in a circle. They continued to sing off key and clap off beat, but Deidara gave them one last chance.

"Girls, after this song you should all head home! I am heading out on a far far journey where - "

The girls stopped and gasped,

"Don't go!" Cried Ino.

"I'll follow you!" Yelled Sakura.

"I love you!" Declared Tenten.

Deidara sighed and then continued to play, the girls joining right back in until he made it to a tree where he harshly pulled away the bow from the instrument making a loud noise that filled the forest and pulled out a pocket knife. The three girls looked at the man and let each out a shrill shriek as a net from beneath them sprung up catching them all safely.

The girls yelled and kicked and screamed as they saw Deidara run off back to the camp, where it didn't take an intelligent person to know that he would grab his things and run away.

The next day Deidara walked quickly without stopping, keeping an eye out for any girls to keep away from - he however sure was getting hungry. Deidara looked up the the sky and the foreword to the mountain where he saw a billow of smoke that looked like it was coming from a chimney. Overjoyed he ran with a skip over in hope of a place that would provide him a meal and a small place to let him nap.

He just really hoped for no girls.

When he got there and rounded a bush, his eyes widened and shone like sapphires as there worked they most gorgeous man he had ever seen in his life chopping wood. Outside the log house stood bear carvings, deer carvings, pig carvings, wolf carvings and various little animals... Like rabbits for example.

"Hello there stranger!" Called the woodsman "You look like you travel far, come stop for lunch!"

Deidara's cheeks turned pink, this was definitely the company he wanted, the company of a strong older man who knew what art was - wow!

The two of them talked and ate, and then talked some more. They had different views on art - fleeting and eternal - and the woodsman, Sasori was calm and the musician, Deidara was more on the wild side, but they did have one thing in common - other than art. They both were lonely, so lonely..but not just the regular lonely-lonely, it didn't take a genius to see the thick sexual tension in the room. They were LONELY.

While being lip locked on the woodsman's bed, Deidara joked about being followed by three girls who were lusting after him and just how sexy the woodsman was.

"Thank goodness you didn't put out for those girls or I might not have gotten you." Sasori murmured against the blonds lips. "I am suggest staying here for a couple day though."

Deidara shifted of his side, "Why?"

Sasori ran a hand though long blond hair, "When I'm done with you, you won't be walk anywhere for a some days," Deidara laughed "But also the girl of the land are pretty scary. Would be wise if you stayed here and would let me protect you," he gave the blonds behind a squeeze, "they girls find you and they get revenge."

Deidara raised a brow.

"Bitches be crazy."

The next day Sasori was right - Deidara couldn't leave the bed, and by the end of tonight he wouldn't be able to leave tomorrow. The two of them had real chemistry. Deidara couldn't get over Sasori's sexy accent either, the fiery red hair, and those tight muscles - arms and butt!

Sasori showed Deidara his puppets and even started carving birds on Deidara's command - but only if Deidara played music for him to work to. Deidara didn't want to leave and Sasori didn't want him to either.

Days went on and things looked good. Better and better with each day! Today Deidara could walk again, but there was a silent arrangement that tonight that would change. As the day went in though the forest around the cabin got more and more quiet, to Sasori this meant animals were further away so he had to head out to catch him and Deidara dinner.

He kissed his blond all over his face as a goodbye and gave the small hand that had a little wooden ring on it a good squeeze, "I'll be home in hour and half, brat. Don't play fiddle!"

"Yeah, yeah. Bye Danna, come back safe!"

Once he was gone Deidara got working on preparing other foods for dinner, it hadn't been long but the two were madly in love and to break up such a sweet couple had to be insane.

The Musician looked over at his fiddle. Since trapping those girls and running away he had gotten to play his fiddle less and less. He was only ever allowed to play it when Sasori was home and after he deemed it was safe. Deidara rested his chin on his hand, "Are the girls here really that scary?"

Deidara waited another minute before running over to the fiddle and playing a note three times. It sure was quiet... Three different notes wouldn't hurt, right? After the three new notes he replayed the last three notes again and then played two more and quickly got swept up in the playing.

He was unaware how loud and how long he was playing when a dagger shot past his head chopping off a lock of his hair. Deidara dropped to the ground and put his fiddle down before kicking it across the room and under the bed and then covered his head with his arms.

"Shit shit shit shit shit, yeah." He grumbled and looked over at the wall to see a shadow of a figure. He followed the shadow to the window and saw Tenten sitting there with a blade in her mouth and the one he used to set the snare he left in the tree in her hand. Behind Tenten stood Ino holding a rope and net. That wasn't too bad until the door burst open and there stood Sakura holding an axe.

Sasori was right. These bitches be crazy.

Ino hopped up and threw the net over Deidara and quickly wound him up with the rope, Tenten stepped in and ran the knives through the rope pinning him down. Deidara tossed around from his stomach onto his back furiously to see Sakura standing above him, axe high in the air.

"Shiiiit. Danaaaaaa! "

With that Sakura fell to the ground - another - larger - axe lodged in her own back. The two other girls looked up at the open door and went to hop out the window but it was too late, each girl swiftly had a senbon needle tossed into the side of their heads - in one side and out the other.

Deidara looked up at his hero and let out a happy squeal to see his disgruntled fiancé rubbing his face before walking towards him.

After being untied, Deidara threw himself around Sasori and began kissing him passionately. "Danna! My hero! What are you doing back? Thank you! What?"

Sasori kissed back, "I did not make it very far and then got an erection."

Deidara gave the man a stupid look, "Why didn't you just ignore it, jack off or wait until later, yeah?"

Sasori grabbed Deidara's hand and kissed it sending the blond into a fit of unmanly giggles, "I have you - why wait or use the hand?" He looked up from the hand and rubbed his lips on them, "You don't mind I killed girls?"

Deidara let out a haggard sigh and reached up for Sasori's arm muscles and gave them a firm squeeze "Ohh Danna, I don't mind at all! In fact..." he twirled and undid a few of his top shirt buttons, "lets skip dinner and have dessert!"

"Yes, lets. But first we bury girls cause they will stink and attract wild life. Then later you can play me since you are the wonderful musician."

Deidara reached around him and this time squeezed Sasori's ass, "Maybe we can eat the little food I prepared to go with the dinner and then go...all out?

Red eyebrows furrowed as Sasori looked at the salad and flat bread on the counter, "Strong men do not eat on vegetable and bread alone."

Deidara skipped over and picked up a bottle of wine, "Baby you can eat this musician, yeah." Deidara gave with a wink.

"That is sounding agreeable to my -"

Deidara grabbed his fiancés hand, "C'mon Danna, lets bury the bodies quick and then have lots of fun, yeah!"

"Oki."


End file.
